Today I realised that in many ways, I am still that little Whitney who feared that good things ‎never stay. I was catching up on Tony Gaskins’ videos, and one of them got me curious about ‎how scarcity manifests in more ways than the financial areas of our lives. So I read a bit of ‎literature on the psychology of poverty online. ‎

Turns out scarcity mindset is the obsession ‎‎with a lack of something — usually time or money. ‎So instead of pursuing solutions or planning, mental energy is focused on less critical ‎issues, ‎and you end up inappropriately ‎‎allocating resources (under allocation and over-allocation). ‎

You should have seen my face when I was reading some of this stuff. One article totally felt like an honest review of my ‎‎money life written by a stranger and left me wondering if I am being followed around!

It now made sense why after I made my first million, I waited for thieves to find me and all the ‎witches from my village ‎to arise and torment me. Eventually, the only thing that showed up ‎was anxiety and ‎her cousins, uninformed spending, and self-appointed financial managers.‎

While I am doing much better with money management now, I still exhibit some signs of the scarcity ‎mentality that I read about. Yees, I knooow I have been re-sharing all these profound quotes about ‎being healthy and wealthy on my IG *rolls eyes. ‎

The thing is, I did not think I had a scarcity ‎mindset because I grew up with enough. We were not rich but not poor either. Yet here we are, Diary! Here is where the oblivion ends, though, because I will intentionally do better going forward.